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Thursday, March 9th, 2006
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7:03 am
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| Friday, November 18th, 2005
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5:43 am
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I was born to mourn, and fate wont have it any other way.
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, September 13th, 2005
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2:42 pm
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You were the shoe of my dreams, glittering briliantly, soft as velvet
I touched you adored you, I bought you for myself
I tried you on, but you didnt fit...
But I still wore you, Because I loved you
Now, I cannot wear you anymore, you have bruised my feet, left me with lingering horrible pain.
current mood:  relieved
current music: Lorrenna McKennit "Prologue"
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(comment on this)
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| Saturday, September 10th, 2005
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11:19 pm
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I want to save you from yourself
I want to be there when you think theres no way out
why do you think this?
why does your brain fuck you so?
WHY
cant I give you what you need? warmth, sustinace, humaninteration
some spark for your brain to work off of?
no... I am useless, I do not have the material you desire in this age
just a pretty face, here to fuck and leave and forget
that is all I am
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(comment on this)
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11:17 pm
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Give me love
Give me lust
Give me escape
From my worthless existance
Give me something to work for in this disfucntional world
Sitting here in filth, in the shithole of socitey
money is everything, but why
why must we live by these boundaries
I just want to express myself
but it is forbidden
A life without meaning is shit
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(comment on this)
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11:12 pm
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Pop culture a acid trip
A pill for those incapable of their own reality
Where is your art, where is your expression
Where is your life.
Can you give me peace in this fucked up world?
Can you give me reason to exist?
Can you give?
do you care if those around you rot in their shit
shit is shit, you dwell you become?
Give me the resistance to your charms, oh distraction from reality
Let me know your secret so I dont have to become, your slave
I want to fly, above the measly pathetic lives of now
I want to warp into truth and reality of old
what is it to be human,
nothing,
unless you make it so
Today, we die, inch by inch, smile by smile, but why
Why cant we break free from socity and its bullshit
Religion blinding us from anything really real'
why?
why not?
how come?
Cant we all just get along?
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(comment on this)
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11:09 pm
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This guest is not welcome
Stifleing my bubble
Strangleing my conciousness
I need to breathe
This reality a blashphemy
This world a giant peice of refuse
This life a waste for now
I dont need you
I just want you
A bit of sanity in this chaos called existance
A bit of beuty in this septic tank
you keep me sane
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(comment on this)
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11:06 pm
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Indulging in definace
I dont want to be here
beer soaked supremecy
ego a high
fuck this, fuck that
fuck life
I want to breate the purity I used to know
I want to live again
I want you to make me whole, If only you could imagine
Unconditional affection, a limb always there to lie on
how could you give that up
how could you leave me in peices
how could you run away from something good
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(comment on this)
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| Friday, August 12th, 2005
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3:29 pm
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I can smell insanity
Sleep deprived, and staring at the world like a newborn...screaming in pain.
My wrists are adorned with pony beads, was my teenage life a dream?
A movie with a suspenseful, tragic, horrific, end...
Do we ever really grow up? Or do we just conform to our elders actions...
I want...to feel...content...again
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(comment on this)
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| Sunday, July 31st, 2005
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5:32 pm
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Battling uncertainty
My hope could be lost at any moment
I climb without any light
I could reach the top with joy
Or loose my footing and dissapeer into dispair
Give me strength
current mood: hopeful
current music: Loreena Mckennit "Full Circle"
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(comment on this)
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| Friday, May 20th, 2005
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12:19 am - vakkert arr
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Engel spread your wings tonight
Purity still lives in your weakened heart
I want to be your bandages, fyll Deres sår
Your scars of pain will only raise you higher
When you realize the power they have given you
What can stand in the way of an open mind
Except for the closed ones, det vill-leder
Bring the world to a stop, make it bow to your tragic beauty
If you could claim my heart then you are truly an angel
elsk meg engel, jeg elsker De, lar meg kysse Deres vakkere arr
current mood: awake
current music: Loreena McKennit...
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, May 14th, 2005
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6:11 pm
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Will I mourn him when he floats away.
Or will I still love him as he was when he was as he was.
Familiar comforts keep me sane.
How will I be comfortable when those comforts disapear into time.
I get lost in the guitar, is that my only comfort that will never change.
Everything breaks down.
Everything breaks.
Everything familier...goes away.
Can a human live without reverting to their childhood in some way?
Will the peice of me I have been needing all my life be enough to patch up the holes, when the rest of me has been left behind.
Plastic Horses, Blueberries, Butterflys, and Imaginary Friends.
current music: Smith, Elliott - Let's Get Lost
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, April 21st, 2005
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1:26 pm
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| Saturday, March 26th, 2005
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10:38 pm
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Rotting flowers will bloom again next spring.
Can you smell the beauty of their decay now that this is certain?
Their roots will still bloom with the same roses that they did in the next year.
But the number of flowers will increase with each hibernation.
I can feel the ground thaw beneath my feet, and with it my heart.
All that is green is good, and I want to drink it as sweet teas.
Beauty lies hand in hand with tragic beginings.
This world has balance, as it turns.
It shall dip into winter, just so spring can exist again,
Rebirth
Winter has lasted so long, but so shall spring.
I want to dance naked in the wilderness, and taste the true world untainted again.
current mood: alive
current music: Lorenna Mckennit
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(comment on this)
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10:35 pm
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Brutally crucified for years, I am rising again to heaven on earth. Today I cried a childs tears of hope.
No one understands the trials until they are passed. Is that why so many live in misery?
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(comment on this)
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| Sunday, February 6th, 2005
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10:24 am
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I am a rose, being forced to bloom, in the middle of a hail storm.
[edit March 26th 2005]
The hail has been pushed away by the sun, my petals can breathe once again, and have they have no threat of being broken by the winter storm.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Sunday, January 30th, 2005
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1:26 am
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I tend to admire the most twisted and tormented of souls.
Because their hearts have the purest intentions of all.
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(comment on this)
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| Friday, January 28th, 2005
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3:47 pm
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I could use an anti-reality check here.
The pain is a net holding back my soul.
But without it what would I write about?
I see bloodsoaked feathers trying to fly, weighed down.
No lift comes to their heavy burden, no relief of air flowing over their wounds.
Sometimes I like to be a reptile, my scales thick, repelling any harm.
But whats the use of being immortal when you have a forked tounge?
Throw my soul away, and become immune to all that stand in my way.
Then I could have everything, but I'd never apreciate or love it.
So I'll stay with my passion's and wait for the poison to pass.
Im still a bird waiting for my wings to heal.
This agony is worth the honesty.
Life would be worthless without pain.
In Closing: The entry ends as far as this thought can wander.
current mood: indescribable
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, September 14th, 2004
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12:41 pm
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| Tuesday, March 2nd, 2004
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3:33 am - Lesson 1
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I am roses growing that need to be tended to and watered.
If you're good to me I'll sprout lovely fragrant blooms and will please your senses with them.
...
If you aren't, I'm nothing but a bush of thorns.
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(comment on this)
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crimsoninkstain's journal